1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. 11 babies are stillborn each day in the UK.
Any pregnancy loss can be traumatic, and can sometimes result in a severe emotional shock and pain caused by a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
The loss can bring a complex mix of emotions. Crying is not the only outlet our bodies choose for grief. Grief can feel like a lump in your throat which makes it hard to swallow or talk. You may lose your appetite or begin to over eat in the hope to fill the void in your body. You can feel lethargic and more tired than you have ever felt before, yet restless and unable to sleep. You may even have trouble breathing and experience heart palpitations. You can be left with a deep deep ache and experience 'empty arms' feelings.
Multiple losses can cause you to question your very identity. They can bring strong feelings of resentment that your body has let you down.
It can deeply affect the relationships with our partners and family, causing rifts in friendships, causing us to question our place in society and the future.
At Alternatives we help to break the silence and hidden pain around the loss. During this time simply being heard and feeling connected is so important.
1 in 6 couples in Britain may have trouble conceiving and unexplained infertility is the most common reason.
Infertility can be a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief of losing a loved one, but is unique because it is a recurring grief. Infertile people grieve the loss of the child they may never know. Each month carries the potential hope that a baby might be conceived. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, parents hold to that glimmer of hope that this month will be different. Each failed attempt causes grief to wash over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It could be compared to a deep cut being reopened after it has begun the journey towards healing.
At Alternatives, our counsellors will not minimise the issues around this and can offer support and a space for reflection as they walk alongside you in the multi-faceted pain of infertility.
At Alternatives we will discuss and hear the options when someone is facing a crisis pregnancy in an unbiased way. This may be one or several sessions as required.
To terminate a pregnancy is rarely an easy choice for any woman to make. Many women have to consider this difficult decision and may have to go through the process unsupported. In some cases both women and their partners can be left with unresolved sadness or even trauma. We offer a safe, non-judgemental space to unpack thoughts and feelings around the grief process.
The NHS website provides advice about the physical symptoms you may experience after an abortion in the following days or weeks and when to seek help. Some women can struggle with depression, guilt, difficult sleeping and feeling unable to get past the experience. If you are experiencing any mental or emotional issues in relation to an abortion, we can offer you support.
Moving you through the process of grief, hearing your pain and allowing you to express your feelings can help through the grieving process and validate the pain so you can find peace and healing.
TERMINATION DUE TO FETAL ABNORMALITY
There are times when both women and men have to face the distressing and daunting prospect of ending a much wanted pregnancy due to detected abnormalities or an ectopic pregnancy. This can leave clients vulnerable to a range of deeply conflicting emotions and hidden pain.
We work with clients both pre and post termination to give space to process and potentially resolve these conflicts and to journey alongside these processes.